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May. 24th, 2003 10:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
htothehIt was a rather odd afternoon, all in all. Driving (alone--well, not alone, with Trevor, but without a parent) to Jason's house in North Raleigh for the GoPo party and taking a brief detour down Millbrook on the way, getting there before Kit (not odd, gloat-worthy. Heh), then driving to someplace to play ultimate frisbee, then getting turned around in his neighborhood (because I was trying to follow Elena. Not my fault.) while having left poor Claire to wait for our return, and waiting quite a long time, since Certain Persons (coughElenacough) didn't know where they were going. Then going to Erica's house, and having to leave earlyish because my parents are paranoid, and it only took me 25 minutes to get home, and I could have left at 8:30, I don't know what they were worried about. I spent a lot of time up in a tree, being bitten by mosquitos. That was nice; the tree part, not the mosquito part. I'm not quite sure what made it so odd. I suspect that the no-parent thing was a large contributing factor. It's extremely odd to be able to drive around with people in the car and do things like this without needing them. We could make our own plans. I could help drive to the soccer field, for goodness' sake. I had to worry about parking, and how to find places, and which lane to be in, and wanting a Kroger card. These are not things I have ever thought about worrying about. And now I do, and it's weird. Not that I don't like it or anything, but it's weird nonetheless.
< whining. I'm not kidding, this really is whining. I feel like writing it, but no one else has to read it because it's very much whining. And feeling sorry for myself. And did I mention whining? I'm faintly disgusted with myself for writing it down, but I need to get it out. So there.>
I think the other bit was that Ellie was at Erica's. I like Ellie, but I'm a bit jealous that she'll always be Erica's best friend, and a lot self-pitying because I don't really have a "bestest friend". Everyone has someone who is their priority, and none of those people are me. The bit that I think is the most galling to me in the places that I refuse to conciously acknowledge if I can at all help it is that I can't expect anyone to make me their priority, because, hey, previous best-friendships, and being in luv, and just not connecting that much. So yeah, much with the self-pitying here.
< /whining. Done now.>
Actually, I lie. That's exactly what made things odd. I wish I could have stayed longer, I wish that I had my six months license and would thus be able to haul around more than one person, which doesn't exactly constitute hauling, I wish that I could drive after nine. Stupid life, never does the things you want it to do.
< whining. I'm not kidding, this really is whining. I feel like writing it, but no one else has to read it because it's very much whining. And feeling sorry for myself. And did I mention whining? I'm faintly disgusted with myself for writing it down, but I need to get it out. So there.>
I think the other bit was that Ellie was at Erica's. I like Ellie, but I'm a bit jealous that she'll always be Erica's best friend, and a lot self-pitying because I don't really have a "bestest friend". Everyone has someone who is their priority, and none of those people are me. The bit that I think is the most galling to me in the places that I refuse to conciously acknowledge if I can at all help it is that I can't expect anyone to make me their priority, because, hey, previous best-friendships, and being in luv, and just not connecting that much. So yeah, much with the self-pitying here.
< /whining. Done now.>
Actually, I lie. That's exactly what made things odd. I wish I could have stayed longer, I wish that I had my six months license and would thus be able to haul around more than one person, which doesn't exactly constitute hauling, I wish that I could drive after nine. Stupid life, never does the things you want it to do.
