(no subject)

[htotheh]

My Credo


I believe in tears shared between friends. A good cry doesn't always help matters, but if that good cry is had in the presence of someone who cares, it will help almost without fail. I believe that no matter how good things are right now, and they are, and how much I want them to stay, and I do, they probably won't. I don't really like this one, but I can't really get away from it. The people I hang out with tend to be the introspective type, and the future comes up often. I love the idea that we'll all still be together in five or ten years, but I try not to get attached to it, because it probably won't happen.

I believe that very long but still grammatically correct sentences are a lot of fun to write, and even more fun to say. The other day I managed to get the radio station changed because I babbled a lot at the driver, and this guy never changes the radio station. Ever. I believe in late-night carpool rides home with the windows down and the music up, and wind tangling my hair. Those have been some of the best times, when everyone is either silent, except maybe singing quietly to the music, or laughing and not being able to stop.

I believe that while it's almost certainly a good idea to let all of one's walls down to someone, I don't know if I ever will. I don't know how to let go of everything, even if I really want to share that bit of me. Which is probably the reason that while I believe that there is a God, and quite possibly one God who has a Son who died for our sins, I can't quite manage to give them to him like I am apparently supposed to do to be a good little Christian. I can't even unburden myself completely to something I can't see, and can't even prove the existence of, and thus can't judge me. Thus I remain somewhat hypocritical.

I believe that home movies are one of the most mortifying things in existence. Even if there isn't anyone around but your parents, and you were twelve years younger in the video. It's still mortifying.

The thing that I believe the most is that we'll never have an answer to everything, and this is what annoys me the most. I don't like it when I don't know, but sometimes there just isn't a way to know. Like in the case of an afterlife, for example. I would like to believe in an afterlife, but there's no way to prove anything one way or another, because the only way to prove it would be to go, and if one goes, there's no way to come back. I think the only way to be happy with life is to be comfortable with not ever being sure, and just muddling through the best that one can. I haven't quite managed this, either.


I wrote this for Calculus, for our "Ex Day" assignment, nevermind the fact that there aren't going to be any more Ex Days. Just felt like sharing.

If you aren't vaguely depressed by it, you're ahead of me.