(no subject)

[htotheh]

I have so many nevers. Before this summer, I had never been for a walk past ten o'clock, never sucked honeysuckle, never gone somewhere completely without a parent, never bought gas on my own. I had never taken a walk in the pouring rain after experiencing the storm build around me. Never gone off the beaten, paved path to somewhere under construction. I have a very narrow comfort zone, and it takes either a lot of prodding or not thinking at all to get out of it. The woods behind my house in Anchorage were Foreign Territory; I never went too close, because I had never been back there before, and who knows what could have happened? One end of our porch was less friendly than the other, simply because I used the one end more. I never went places I wasn't supposed to be. I feel like I've missed out on a lot by staying where I'm supposed to be.

The past year has solidly thumped many of my nevers. I've been soaked by a storm, to the extent where my glasses fogged up and I saw about the same with or without them. I've carried out spur-of-the-moment plans with a group of friends, merrily bypassing adult input. I've chopped onions and peppers, and made my own salmon salad--tastes good on bagels. I know that I can be more than what I am now. I'm capable of more than I ever thought.

I'm liking this whole summer business. It goes slow at some parts, but other parts make it all worth it.